the first photo we took together...

first month~<3

when we went shooting~r

i love this the most because i'm damm pretty~

nah__ asked me to do stupid things la!!

james & julia / jackson & joey / me and you / baba and mami~<3<3

B~~  0.o

happy aniversary to myself and my si to pui_

already two months we get together...

although mami don't approve me and him...

but still i get together with him..

i told mami i will listen to her..

every single word he said..

but..

mami, i'm so sorry..

it doesn't mean i don't want to listen to you..

it's just hard for me to seperate with him without any arguement. 

i felt abondon..

by my friends..

the first month in college i had lots of friends..

but now..

i can't even find one to tell my secret..

where were all my friends been?

i'm still there..

but they had changed..

4 of us been very good friends before..

but now... 

i feel headache to go into you all..

you stay at tbr, you stay at hostel..

you can go out together just in a few minutes but i still need to take bus or cab..

when i'm already bankrap..

you guys went out without me..

soon, the feeling changed..

only you three are best friends..

i'm not..

i can't even understand what language you're using..

is that just because i'm far apart, i'm bankrap, then i have to sacrifice friends?

i scare you... a lot..

i'm trying best to mix with you..

if cannot..

then.. no more~

I'm not happy here..

life is fun, but fun doesn't mean happy.. 

ITS TIME TO SAY

I MISS YOU______<3<3<3




yap_
its time for me to say i miss you_
i miss you now__
how much did i wish to post in facebook but__
mami got facebook account and i think she doesnt approve our realtionship yet__

suddenly i felt sad when i saw jess in kevin's house_
sitting in his house and the feeling is like that's also her home__

i wish i could do that too__
i wish i can call you in front of mami baba__
i wish i can continue texting you_

but what can i do_
i cant do anything to get mami's appoval__
T.T

B_
i seriously wish we can have an open relationship_
why they can easily get parent's appoval_?
but i couldnt_?
how long should i wait to get the word "yes" from baba_?
how i wish i can cry loudly in front of everyone saying im suffering_
how i wish i can tell kor kor about everything but__

you know i know__

i know its no changes between you and me_
maybe i'm not your girlfriend_
i cant hold you_
i cant hug you_
i cant kiss you__
i cant bully you officially__
what i wish is only normal__
like a normal couple__
can hold hands in the public_
can call you my dear in front of friends__
can throw my stuff and force you to hold it___
and i can walk easily like a queen__
in others__

then when i get back your house__
i will sayang you__
i help you in doing everything__
i mess up the room and some sort like scolding you and ask you to clean the mess__

why it happened in such a sudden__?
mami_
you said you won stop me if i have a boyfriend__
but now__
you din asked me to stop our friendship_
but you did asked us to stop our relationship__
i did blame you_
i did hate you__
the first time i told you about my beloved__
the first time i wanted to tell everyone that he is my BOYFRIEND___
but you ruined it__
mami___
girls might get hurt easily__
but what they get in the end__
they might feel__
" at least i tried"__
but now__
i got no chance to say "i tried"__

you hurt me__
and you hurt him___
i cried__
and so did him__
he was dropping his tears in front of me__
i knew he dun want me to see it__
but no ideas__
we were skyping and i was watching at him__
i can see his eyes turn red__
and tears dropped__
what for__?
why you want to hurt us like this___?
i know its for my good_
but if i choose the way__
cant you just leave me__?
i miss him__
damm much___

what to do now__?
although we still can hang out together___
but something goes different__

what relationship between me and you__?
can i ask this question_??
this question bother me a lot_
what the hell happen___
=.=~


yes_
you hold me you hug me you kissed me__?
and so_?
but i'm not your girlfriend and you're not my boyfriend__
what the hell relationship are us__?
you care about me_
i know__
i do care about you also__
but seriously__
what i mind about is the status_
if__
what if i say now there's a boy chasing me__
can i accept him since me and you are not couple___
right_?


you can take the initiative to do anything you want__
but since when you do__??
excuse me__??
sometimes_
you won hold me if i dun hold you_
i hate the fuxking feeling__
i felt like i'm WTH a cheap girl__
FML_!! i hate you__
i wish to EML______
but because of you__
i CANT_!!!!

ps : FMY = fuxk my life
      EML = enjoy my life

wrong_!!

totally wrong_!!

if i like xxx, i won't let you sleep at my shoulder, won't always bite you, won't let you take my jacket back home for few days, won't ask you why you suddenly feel angry, won't hold your hand when you feel cold in the cinema 

AND

won't message you with the jacket cover half of my face except my eyes and the jacket is full of your smell________<3

one last thing___

i won't always sit beside you or opposite you if i like xxx___ 

its not really that sweet to hear this_

but__

its considered as a promise to me_

i felt released_

and little bit happy when i saw this message__

congratez to DING_

and thank you for saying this to make me feel __

you're always beside me___

可不可以不要在我才刚发现喜欢上你的时候_
喜欢上别人_?

我讨厌我自己_
容易喜欢上人_
我必须承认_
被我喜欢上的都会很辛苦_
因为我是百分百的小孩子_
我容易吃醋, 容易生气, 我很在乎我想在乎的那个人_
对_
容易吃醋容易生气, 但是我也很容易逗回_
可不可以麻烦你在把我弄生气后_
花一点点的时间把我逗回_
你从来就不会做这些事情_
每次主动的都是我_
可不可以有一次主动的是你_
自己生气, 自己不开心, 然后在自己把自己逗回_
好笑_!!
我很明显跟你讲我在生气_
你就不在乎不在乎的继续做你的东西_
好啦_
承认, 我不是你的谁_

你是自由的_
所以你可以偶尔偶尔逗逗别人_
偶尔找我玩玩?

讨厌我自己经不起一点点的诱惑_
生气了_
你只要稍微看我一眼, 低声问我一句 : 做么你?
我就好回了_

凭我的第六感_
你应该是喜欢她的_
一个小小的动作就可以显示出你喜欢的认识谁_
我_
好像有点_
伤心_
石头压着心_
很不舒服_
怎么办_?